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Showing posts from May, 2009

Green Alert

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“Why’s the pool so crowded?” PP asks Burly Nice Lifeguard as she stares at the pandemonium of circle swimmers. She was so sick of the crowds! The pool had been an odious, wretched, heinous, hellish, claustrophobic, menacing Mayhem all week!

BNF shakes his head and sighs. “Actually the pool’s been closed for the last 24 hours.”
“Really? But I was here yesterday.”
”Yeah, well it just reopened.”
“Why was it closed?’
“A little kid had an accident.”
“Oh….” A Brown Alert, PP thinks. She didn’t make this up. Some smart ass at another pool, she thinks the one in Encinitas perhaps, quipped it.

Well, she’d asked. And she’d gotten her answer. So this is why the pool was so crowded this evening as she climbed into a lane and began the sinister circle swimming. Ugh. Then the two swimmers got out.

Yahoo! She had her own lane! But not for long, cause here come Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. Two pasty white guys with Easter egg caps (PP thinks it’s kinda weird when guys were caps anyway. Why this is she hasn’t…

Daisies from....

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“Nice suit!” Liver Transplant Woman exclaims as she watches Flailing Chinese Woman wriggle, with the help of Walker Red Headed Woman, into a bright sixties style daisy suit. You know those kind of daisies that are bright colors like hot pink and lime green and sunshine yellow? Today, they dance on a background of jet black with jazzy square shortie bottoms of FCW's new suit.

LRW is right. FCW is HOT today in her daisy suit, as WRHW snaps the strap playfully on her shoulder, nodding in agreement with LTW.

Hot Tub Mama bestows her approval also, giving a subtle but powerful nod. She’s always up to the task of Locker Room Maven, no matter that she just got out of the hospital after "11 day. My diabetes. My doctor said. Blood in my stomach I cough up. A diarrhea come out all black. But better now.”

And it’s a good thing. What did they all do without her around for 11 days? Though PP thinks that she didn’t really need to hear the details of her ordeal while enjoying the Daisy Suit …

The Carmex Angel

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“You dropped this.”
Turning around, PP beholds an Angel. Her hand extended with a jar of Carmex in her pale palm.

Where the hell did she come from? PP wonders, as the soft, accented (Australian? English? PP can never tell the difference. But who cares. It’s sexy) voice lilts through the empty row of lockers. She’s tall, this Carmex Angel, and pale (Okay, PP already said this, but it does make her more angelic right?) with long alabaster limbs, a firm white bottom, and rounded breasts dancing in PP’s line of vision.

Understandably speechless, PP, nevertheless manages to mutter an “Oh, thanks,” as she takes the proffered Carmex from the Angel’s soft palm.

Carmex Angel floats down the row of lockers; PP tries not to stare, but hell, why not? Shouldn’t she get some sort of fringe benefit from braving the crowds at the YMCA Monday afternoon pool time?

But what to say? Can’t she come up with something better than ‘Thanks’?

Giggling, PP calls after her, “Good thing you found that for me. I woul…

Mooney Moods

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”Man, I’m feeling it. The full moon. It just messes with all my fluids, you know what I mean?”

PP nods, she has no clue what FRW (aka Daphne, she later learned) is talking about, but when has that ever stopped her from nodding and pretending otherwise?

”And my last name is Mooney (or did she say Moody?). That makes it doubly worse.” Daphne laughs heartily as she settles back into the warm hot tub waters.

Laughing along, PP doesn’t know how to respond since she isn’t sure which last name Daphne really said. Though maybe it doesn’t matter. If she said, Mooney, well then there are fluids involved in this, right? Or if she said, Moody, well then there’s hormones involved in this.

PP opts for an answer that covers both—“Yeah, well, the Moon does move the tides and so it makes sense that it’d move the fluids in our bodies and psyches too.”
Daphne nods. Likes this answer. It resonates with her Mooney Mood. “Exactly. That’s a good point. Plus the other fluids. Like when I’m menstruating, hell wat…

Wipe That Look Off Your Face!

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"Girl, you're stressin me out with That Look!" Face Reader Woman sighed heavily after delivering this verdict. PP felt like hitting her, but refrained.

"You can see the disappointment all over your face!" she continued, turning to another woman who was sharing the locker room bench with her. “We’re talking ‘bout disappointment here if you wanna know.”

PP didn’t.

She was more than Disappointed. She was furious. Imagine! Closing the pool for some unknown Random Reason on a Tuesday afternoon right when SHE was here to swim.

The NERVE!

Yet the signage when she’d arrived said:

Pool closed on Tuesday, May 5 until 2 pm




PP has an inherent distrust of signage. Especially when it comes to pool closures. Extra especially when it comes to such closures at the Oakland Y.

So, yeah, waiting in the locker room for the pool door to ‘unlock’ at 2 pm., and believing that it might not, was making her extremely cranky. Stomping around in her pink suit, carrying her fins, frowning and c…

Diving into the Plunge! (Part II)

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“Is that it?” PP pointed across the busy street where a large “P” was peaking through the trees.
“Looks like the right kinda building,” DHBF nods as he waits to make the turn into the parking lot of the “PLUNGE”

A parking lot. Now there’s a concept! And they’ve found it—PP claps in delight as DHBF grins. He loves it when she’s delighted, which frankly doesn’t happen often enough lately. But that’s another story.

Yet now with only 20 minutes left for lap swimming, it seems that the actual swim will have to wait. But maybe not. If they hurry….PP’s eternal optimism is only rampant when it comes to pools.

They park. PP rushes out. Hurries toward the entrance. It's so exciting! But oh dear! DHBF takes so long to get out of the car. PP is gonna get in trouble for this, but what the hell is he doing? Leave whatever for now hurry! The Lap Swim Clock is ticking!





She stands on the curb. Waiting waiting waiting. Finally he’s done doing god knows what in the car….

And into the office they march wh…